The kids treat you like shit, and you’ve been told to ignore their abuse. Your partner lets his kids degrade, insult, and physically harass you while standing in the same room without defending you. If you say something, you are criticized by your partner (in front of the kids) for advocating for yourself.
You can always hear the sigh of instant relief under the kids’ breath because they’ve won yet another round of stomping you down – thanks to your partner.
He states to you privately in the bedroom: “It’s redneck” to stick up for yourself and that you need to be “bigger than that.”
Apparently, your feelings don’t matter – and you’re not allowed to use your voice.
This hurts more than his kids’ disrespectful behavior. And, you withdraw.
Sorry your wife needs to feel secure and safe – and needs your support.
He acts like nothing ever happened.
It’s driving you nuts on why he won’t just stick up for you!
You have to plead and beg your partner to give his kids a consequence for how they treat you. Sometimes this works, but not very often.
The closest the kids get to apologizing is, “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
But, they’re not apologizing.
What they’re really saying is, “You’re the one with the problem. Too bad for you.”
The kids declare they’ve done nothing wrong, as they bathe themselves in their delusional self-righteousness – with no sign of remorse.
The next day, they’re rewarded with future plans for fancy excursions and shopping trips. Anything they want, all they have to do is ask. They obviously don’t have to earn it!
Your partner doesn’t seem to care about how this affects your feelings or the quality of the relationship.
And, he wonders why you have resentment.
This is what happens when your partner doesn’t defend you.
Welcome to a day in the life of being a step mom.